Show and Tell Tuesdays: How We Met and/or Got Engaged

Today I am linking up again with Andrea from Momfessionals for Show and Tell Tuesdays (which is so much fun! Thanks for the great post ideas Andrea :)). For this link-up we are to describe how we met and/or got engaged to our spouse. I can't wait to read everyone's posts! I think it is so interesting to see how people met, and how their happenstance meeting evolved into their journey of love. I completely believe in fate and serendipity (also one of my personal favorite movies), and how love can start anywhere, anytime.

Since I am new at this whole blog thing, I actually detailed my journey in finding and meeting my husband already, but I will provide a short synopsis of how that happened below.

**Side Note: If you want THE WHOLE STORY, you can find that in these posts: The Road to Mrs. From the Beginning, The Middle of the Road, The Middle of the Road Continued......., Meeting My Husband, Meeting My Husband Part II. 

Our engagement story was featured for the last Show and Tell Tuesday here: Proposal Story

How I Met My Husband
My husband and I met through eHarmony. I had joined eHarmony a little more than six months before I actually got "matched" with my husband. I had a pretty tough breakup, and my parents suggested that I try eHarmony. Since I had only really dated one person, I didn't know how to date. I have to say, I think it was so important for me to experience "dating." I needed to know what I wanted in a life partner, what qualities were extremely important to me, and the aspects that didn't matter a whole lot to me. More importantly, I needed to gain my self-confidence. I was pretty shaken up after my break-up and I didn't believe that I would ever get married. I was 24, and I thought, well this is it. How ridiculous does that sound now?! But, when I was in that moment, that is honestly what I thought each and everyday.

Fast forward to my "match" with Jim. When I got "matched" to him, I thought he was so handsome! His dimples, his smile, were just so attractive to me. I waited a few days for him to contact me, but he didn't send anything! I don't know if it was my instincts, gumption, or frankly desperation haha, but I decided to make the first move. Who says the guy has to make the first move? While it is flattering to be contacted first, I wanted to find my "person." In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter who makes the first move? I don't think so! I sent him a basic intro message, and we started talking every day, sometimes multiple times a day. When we finally met "face to face" I felt as though I had known him for years. In the time that we communicated, I truly felt as thought we built an honest friendship. I wanted to talk to him not just about what I wanted in a husband, but my day-to-day interactions. He had already started to become a part of my life by the time I actually met him. Our first date was bowling, and I knew from the moment I saw Jim that he was "the one." We had built such a solid foundation from the discussions we had before meeting, that seeing him in person, just sealed the deal. The old adage, "When you know, you know" is so true! I thought people just said that, but it really does happen. Even though I had a tough journey to love, I wouldn't change it for anything. There is always a reason for everything, even when you don't see it. If you or anyone you know is contemplating online dating, please feel free to share my story! I have nothing but good things to say about my experiences on eHarmony (it led me to my husband after all!), and I truly think that it is a great way to meet your special someone.

First outing with my family

Our first Christmas

First wedding as a couple :)

Our wedding!

I can't wait to read the other stories! Happy Tuesday :)

The Road to Mrs.-- From the Beginning....

So I promised a few weeks ago that I would detail my road to marriage, starting from the beginning. Well, for me, in order to truly understand the journey, we have to go back to my high school years. I am certifiably a nerd at heart-- in high school, there were really only three things that occupied my time: my family, sports (cheerleading or softball depending on the season), and school. School was huge for me-- I cared so much about my grades, about doing well, and about making my parents and teachers proud of me. I didn't have time to date-- or so I thought-- I also wasn't "allowed" to date until I was 16, so I just pushed dating to the way-side for most of high school. Sure I was interested in boys, and I had crushes (embarrassing interactions with crushes), but I didn't actually "date" or have a boyfriend until senior year of high school. We started dating in October of my senior year, the typical football player and cheerleader story, but I wasn't really feeling a strong connection at the time-- looking back, I was definitely reading too much into the relationship! I blame The Bachelor ;) (I think the first season was around the time I was in high school). We broke up, only to get back together during the summer before starting college. I was happy that summer-- we got along so well, I absolutely adored his family, and we were actually going to be attending the same college in the fall. Fast forward to the first weekend in college, and I again, broke up with him. I just wasn't having the same strong feelings that he was having. We became friends again, and for about a year, we probably became the best of friends-- and that's where we should have stayed. Again, I absolutely loved his family, and I did feel so comfortable with him, but sometimes if something doesn't work out (after two or three tries), it probably isn't meant to be. I can say this now, but I know the 20 year old me didn't quite understand that concept yet.

We started dating again, and dated for about 5 years, until we broke up in the fall (what is it and the fall?!). My younger sister Elizabeth, had gotten engaged the summer of that year, and whether he admits it or not, it probably freaked out my ex. I thought that he and I were at that place of marriage-- we had been together for almost 5 years, we had both finished graduate school at that point, we both had secured jobs (I was about to start my first teaching job), and I just assumed that we were on the track for marriage. To be honest, when my sister got engaged, my heart sank, for some reason, I had a feeling that that was the beginning of the end of my relationship. To say I was shocked when he decided he couldn't marry or stay with me would be a lie. Truthfully, I knew it was coming, and as much as it hurt, I knew it was the right thing to do. People always say that if someone wants to be with you, they will find a way, no matter what, and I honestly believe that. I also believe that he knew it was the end of the road for us, as hard as it is to admit.

Image Courtesy of: Evgeni Dinev at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Regardless if it was shocking, the breakup was devastating. It happened the second week of school, and I had to put on the bravest of faces. I didn't want to let my personal feelings get in the way of my teaching, but boy was that hard. For the next few months, I couldn't eat, sleep, or stop crying. Even though my family kept telling me that it was for the best, I felt as though that was my only chance to get married. He was all I knew-- I hadn't dated anyone else, and I was convinced that I wouldn't find anyone to love, never mind marry me. When I found out he was dating someone less than two months after us breaking up, I moved from grief to fury. How could he do that so quickly? I was still picking up the pieces. It was terrible-- I was not a joy to be around, and I know that it was hard for Elizabeth to enjoy her engagement, when I was going through such a tough time (I love you Elizabeth!). It was also hard for my younger sisters, who didn't quite know what I was going through, and tried their hardest to make me feel better. I couldn't enjoy the fall (my favorite season), Thanksgiving was a blur, and by the time Christmas came around, I was still just going through the motions. Thankfully, my family was EXTREMELY supportive and understanding, my school friends were AMAZING and knew how to make me feel better, and my old friends were always there for a talk. It truly is during the worst times, that you find out how many people truly enhance your life and are there for you when you need them.

My sister Elizabeth and I that Christmas

Christmas Eve came around, and my father had decided that it was enough. I needed to get back out there . I had been set up on dates here or there by my friends and family (do people really meet the love of their life that way anymore???), but nothing became serious. My dad basically forced me to sign up for eHarmony-- I was initially hesitant. I was 24, and I was slightly embarrassed about signing up for that site. Two hours later, on Christmas Eve, I had officially finished answering the questions, and I was officially on eHarmony. Longest quiz ever!!!!!!!!!! (sorry eHarmony). It was surreal; I was excited and nervous at the same time. I started getting messages right away, and I found myself enjoying the communication. I would talk with a few guys, meet a few, realize we weren't at the same place, or we had no connection, or we just didn't fit. I did meet a nice guy, we will call him B, and we did go on a few dates early in the new year, and he did want to start being exclusive, but I had to make the tough decision to tell him I wasn't at the point yet. I felt like a horrible and terrible person! Here was a nice guy, ready to date me exclusively, and I just wasn't ready! This point was really a set back for me, and I actually slowed down on the site for a while. I was "ready" to date, but I wasn't quite "ready" for an exclusive relationship yet.

I would message people occasionally, meet up with them, but they were always missing something. I don't know what-- it was just missing. Then, in the summer, just as I was starting to feel frustrated that I wasn't finding anyone that I wanted to seriously date, I saw a picture and profile on my match page that honestly stopped me in my tracks, and actually made me blush. He was handsome, his profile was personable, funny, and he seemed like an all around amazing guy-- the only flaw-- I made the first move! I waited days to see if he would message me, and nothing!!!!! I then, got up the nerve, to send him a message. I figured, why not? I was just about to go on a family vacation to the Cape, and I had nothing to lose. To my excitement and surprise-- he responded! Little did I know that this guy, this amazing guy, would become my husband (well I did wish that when I first met him-- but we will get to that part of the story next)..............

Image Courtesy of Mister GC at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Being Married: Post 1

Since returning from Christmas break, so many people have asked how the wedding was and how it has been being married so far. We celebrated our one month (well we didn't really celebrate it- so much as to notice the date) anniversary this week, and due to how many people have asked me that question, I figured I would try to explain it on here as best as I can. My hope is that even if no one reads this blog, I will at least be able to look back on these posts in the future and reminisce about the early days of our marriage and how I felt. Since we are also starting to plan our future (to include babies of course!), I think it will be so nice to re-read these posts 5, 10, 15 years from now to see how much has changed in our lives. I will break down the wedding and our marriage in a few consecutive posts, and I may even go backwards a little bit and talk about when we first met. This is our journey, our love story, and I am sorry to say , it is going to be out of order ;)-- but I promise you it will be a fun read. Enjoy and I hope you can follow my tangents!

Part I: Preparation for the Wedding

Jim and I were married on December 12, 2014-- why no one told me that the date  PROBABLY , DEFINITELY, wasn't the best choice for a wedding I am still not sure (j/k ;)--kinda). All I remember is thinking in the summer how far away the wedding was, and how I just wanted to speed up time. There were three weddings in my family last year: my sister's, my aunt's, and mine. In addition, Jim and I attended two other non-family weddings, and by the time fall came around, we were ready for ours! No matter how many people tell you that the planning really doesn't become intense until the month before the wedding, you still don't believe it until you are in it! Our biggest countdown to the wedding was not actually our wedding day, but Thanksgiving-- we knew once Thanksgiving hit, it was going to be full steam ahead for the wedding. Those two weeks from Thanksgiving to the wedding were a whirl-wind-- I hardly remember what I taught, I hardly remember what we did to prepare. And just like everyone always tells you, everything fell into place. Everything was set to go-place cards, favors (thanks to my family!), table names, memory table pictures, bridesmaids gifts, etc. If I am honest, I did not enjoy planning my wedding. Crazy, right? Isn't everyone supposed to love every minute of planning? Choosing all of the details? Getting all creative? Not me! I just wanted to be married to Jim-- sure I cared that my flowers went well with my dress and my bridesmaids dresses, but the specific flowers? That's why I had a florist! Well-- my uncle did my flowers-- but you get the point. Did I care about what my cake looked like? Not really-- I chose the simplest pattern, and had everyone especially Jim ask me if I was really sure that is what I wanted. Did I care what color the napkins were? No! All I cared about was that on December 12, I would marry my best friend, my partner in life, the guy who always has it all together, the guy that can calm me down when I start getting stressed. I am not saying that the details aren't important, or that if you like planning all of the details than you are missing the "bigger picture," all I am saying is that for me, the best moment of the day would be reaching him and seeing him at the altar.