The Road to Mrs.-- From the Beginning....

So I promised a few weeks ago that I would detail my road to marriage, starting from the beginning. Well, for me, in order to truly understand the journey, we have to go back to my high school years. I am certifiably a nerd at heart-- in high school, there were really only three things that occupied my time: my family, sports (cheerleading or softball depending on the season), and school. School was huge for me-- I cared so much about my grades, about doing well, and about making my parents and teachers proud of me. I didn't have time to date-- or so I thought-- I also wasn't "allowed" to date until I was 16, so I just pushed dating to the way-side for most of high school. Sure I was interested in boys, and I had crushes (embarrassing interactions with crushes), but I didn't actually "date" or have a boyfriend until senior year of high school. We started dating in October of my senior year, the typical football player and cheerleader story, but I wasn't really feeling a strong connection at the time-- looking back, I was definitely reading too much into the relationship! I blame The Bachelor ;) (I think the first season was around the time I was in high school). We broke up, only to get back together during the summer before starting college. I was happy that summer-- we got along so well, I absolutely adored his family, and we were actually going to be attending the same college in the fall. Fast forward to the first weekend in college, and I again, broke up with him. I just wasn't having the same strong feelings that he was having. We became friends again, and for about a year, we probably became the best of friends-- and that's where we should have stayed. Again, I absolutely loved his family, and I did feel so comfortable with him, but sometimes if something doesn't work out (after two or three tries), it probably isn't meant to be. I can say this now, but I know the 20 year old me didn't quite understand that concept yet.

We started dating again, and dated for about 5 years, until we broke up in the fall (what is it and the fall?!). My younger sister Elizabeth, had gotten engaged the summer of that year, and whether he admits it or not, it probably freaked out my ex. I thought that he and I were at that place of marriage-- we had been together for almost 5 years, we had both finished graduate school at that point, we both had secured jobs (I was about to start my first teaching job), and I just assumed that we were on the track for marriage. To be honest, when my sister got engaged, my heart sank, for some reason, I had a feeling that that was the beginning of the end of my relationship. To say I was shocked when he decided he couldn't marry or stay with me would be a lie. Truthfully, I knew it was coming, and as much as it hurt, I knew it was the right thing to do. People always say that if someone wants to be with you, they will find a way, no matter what, and I honestly believe that. I also believe that he knew it was the end of the road for us, as hard as it is to admit.

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Regardless if it was shocking, the breakup was devastating. It happened the second week of school, and I had to put on the bravest of faces. I didn't want to let my personal feelings get in the way of my teaching, but boy was that hard. For the next few months, I couldn't eat, sleep, or stop crying. Even though my family kept telling me that it was for the best, I felt as though that was my only chance to get married. He was all I knew-- I hadn't dated anyone else, and I was convinced that I wouldn't find anyone to love, never mind marry me. When I found out he was dating someone less than two months after us breaking up, I moved from grief to fury. How could he do that so quickly? I was still picking up the pieces. It was terrible-- I was not a joy to be around, and I know that it was hard for Elizabeth to enjoy her engagement, when I was going through such a tough time (I love you Elizabeth!). It was also hard for my younger sisters, who didn't quite know what I was going through, and tried their hardest to make me feel better. I couldn't enjoy the fall (my favorite season), Thanksgiving was a blur, and by the time Christmas came around, I was still just going through the motions. Thankfully, my family was EXTREMELY supportive and understanding, my school friends were AMAZING and knew how to make me feel better, and my old friends were always there for a talk. It truly is during the worst times, that you find out how many people truly enhance your life and are there for you when you need them.

My sister Elizabeth and I that Christmas

Christmas Eve came around, and my father had decided that it was enough. I needed to get back out there . I had been set up on dates here or there by my friends and family (do people really meet the love of their life that way anymore???), but nothing became serious. My dad basically forced me to sign up for eHarmony-- I was initially hesitant. I was 24, and I was slightly embarrassed about signing up for that site. Two hours later, on Christmas Eve, I had officially finished answering the questions, and I was officially on eHarmony. Longest quiz ever!!!!!!!!!! (sorry eHarmony). It was surreal; I was excited and nervous at the same time. I started getting messages right away, and I found myself enjoying the communication. I would talk with a few guys, meet a few, realize we weren't at the same place, or we had no connection, or we just didn't fit. I did meet a nice guy, we will call him B, and we did go on a few dates early in the new year, and he did want to start being exclusive, but I had to make the tough decision to tell him I wasn't at the point yet. I felt like a horrible and terrible person! Here was a nice guy, ready to date me exclusively, and I just wasn't ready! This point was really a set back for me, and I actually slowed down on the site for a while. I was "ready" to date, but I wasn't quite "ready" for an exclusive relationship yet.

I would message people occasionally, meet up with them, but they were always missing something. I don't know what-- it was just missing. Then, in the summer, just as I was starting to feel frustrated that I wasn't finding anyone that I wanted to seriously date, I saw a picture and profile on my match page that honestly stopped me in my tracks, and actually made me blush. He was handsome, his profile was personable, funny, and he seemed like an all around amazing guy-- the only flaw-- I made the first move! I waited days to see if he would message me, and nothing!!!!! I then, got up the nerve, to send him a message. I figured, why not? I was just about to go on a family vacation to the Cape, and I had nothing to lose. To my excitement and surprise-- he responded! Little did I know that this guy, this amazing guy, would become my husband (well I did wish that when I first met him-- but we will get to that part of the story next)..............

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