Past the First Date

It's been a while since I wrote a post about my journey of finding true love. I was feeling nostalgic, and I decided to continue sharing what happened after that first amazing date.

As you may recall, Jim and I went bowling and then out for drinks for our first date. The date lasted most of the night, and I was surprised that I had such a good time :). I knew after our first date, that I wanted to continue seeing Jim. I decided to stop talking to my other matches immediately. The week in between our first and second date, Jim and I were in constant contact with each other. We sent multiple emails a day, and even started texting each other whenever we could. For our second date, Jim invited me to his apartment warming party. I was hesitant to go at first since it was an hour and a half away, but I decided to go with my sister. In retrospect, I'm glad I did :). It was important to me to spend as much time with him as I could. Our third date, we went to a great Mexican restaurant about half way between us (45 minutes away). I remember being so surprised at how comfortable I was with him. From the very beginning, I was myself. In my past relationships and even on other eHarmony dates, I always felt like I had to act a certain way, be a certain person, and I was never truly myself. When I was with Jim, I didn't have to pretend to be anything other than who I was. I knew that if I felt that way with him right away, that we were starting something pretty special.

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Our fourth date is probably one of my favorite dates. Jim and I ventured to Salem, MA, a beautiful, scenic, North shore city. Yes, this is the place that is notorious for the Salem Witch Trials and crazy Halloween shenanigans! But trust me-- this is a gorgeous place and well worth the trip. We decided to eat at a local seafood restaurant, and then just walk around the city. It was a beautiful, breezy summer day. The city wasn't crowded, and it wasn't too humid (always a plus for me and my hair haha). I loved this date so much because it was where we became a couple. It wasn't something that was said outl oud, but we both agree, that this day marked a change in our relationship. We had progressed from just talking and communicating, to being a part of each other's lives. Even though it was only our fourth date, I knew that this was the man I was meant to be with. Yes-- on date four I knew. It was that amazing :) After this date, we never looked back-- we only looked forward. Was it always easy? No. Did we always get to see each other when we wanted or needed? No. But we were together, and that's what mattered. 

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Meeting My Husband Part II

Before I start writing more about the first date, I just want to say thank you for stopping by. Whether you are a casual reader, one time reader, or daily reader, I want to thank you. Blogs are such an amazing writing and sharing outlet. I love how I will be able to look back on these posts and remember how it all began.  I cannot wait to share these memories with my children and grandchildren. Now, I promise that my blog won’t always be about my journey of love, but it is one of the most important things about my life. As such, I wouldn’t be true to myself if I didn’t write about it. If you are someone who has been hesitant about online dating, I hope that sharing my story has encouraged you to at least consider the possibility. Without online dating, I never would have met my husband.

Image Courtesy of  anat_tikker at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Back to bowling……

While I can’t quite remember how many bowling games we played (neither can my husband), I do remember not wanting the date to end. I also vividly remember losing all of the games—not on purpose might I add. Jim asked if I was interested in getting a drink somewhere, or if I had to be home by a certain time. He wanted to see more of me?! He liked me?! Why would I pass up the opportunity of seeing more of him? Did I remember my two hour rule? Absolutely not—that was not even a consideration.  

We made our way to UNOs, and got drinks and talked. Again, it was so easy to talk to him. I really started to like him. When he asked me how many dates I have been on, I was slightly embarrassed. You now know the background of those dates, and how I never really connected with any of them. When Jim told me I was his first date, I immediately regretted sharing that I had been on about 10! He laughed, and thought I was joking. He then asked me on a scale of 1-10 how this date was going (he loves rating things J), and I said it was a 10. He asked me why it wasn’t an 11 (story of my life now haha). While he still thinks I was joking when I said that, I was not. It was one of the best dates I had ever been on.  Since Jim paid for bowling, I wanted to pay for our drinks. I knew, of course, that Jim wouldn’t let me pay. I actually waited until he went to the bathroom to pay. He was not happy when he came back! Ladies—while I agree that a true gentleman should pay on the first date, I also understand the urge to want to split the cost J

I didn’t realize how much time had gone by until the bartender said that it was last call. Jim and I had been there for hours! I also hadn’t looked at my phone for those said hours, and I had numerous texts from my mom. She thought something happened to me! Truth be told, I could have stayed there longer, but it was almost one in the morning! We both had to work the next morning, and poor Jim had a long drive ahead of him. I knew the moment I didn’t want to leave him, that Jim was “the one.” It was just a feeling I had. We parted ways, and I got a text from him right away. I can’t describe the joy I felt in that moment. To know that someone was interested in me, and genuinely wanted to see me again, was an amazing feeling.

When I finally got home that night (since I was still living with my parents), my mom was surprisingly still up! She asked me how the date went, and I said “I think I really like this one.” She just smiled and went to bed.

And after that first date, Jim and I became inseparable. We saw each other every week, and if we were lucky, twice a week. We became exclusive immediately, and we never looked back. Was it hard dating long distance? Oh..my..word…yes! I can’t imagine how difficult it is to date someone long distance across the country!  That is a true testament of love.  

                                                          One of our first outings together :)

And now you know the beginning of our journey. I will post more about our journey past our first date, our engagement, and our wedding, but now you know where it all began.

If you have been successful with online dating, I would love to hear more about your experiences in the comments section below! Or, if you have any questions/concerns, please feel free to ask away!  :)

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!  Go Pats!

Meeting My Husband

When my husband and I have kids, I plan on telling them how their father and I met. I may not include all of the aspects, but I do want them to know  it was a journey. There were big bumps, and smaller bumps along the way. I endured heartache and heartbreak before I met their father, but that I wouldn’t have wanted it to happen any other way.  It led us to each other.

When my husband and I first starting communicating on eHarmony, I knew it was going to be different. I had different feelings communicating with him than the others. I was nervous, giddy, and excited to get his responses. We first starting talking while my family was on vacation, and I was attached to my phone. We were communicating through eHarmony mail, and I found myself more and more interested in learning about Jim. I wanted to know more than just the basic information. I wanted to know what his dreams were, what his goals in life were, what he had planned for in the future.  I was hoping with every response, that I could see myself fit into his life and his plans. His responses were genuine, personal, and sometimes very humorous (a characteristic that is very important to me!).  After my vacation, we moved on from communicating just through eHarmony, and starting communicating through our personal emails. We would send pages to each other, detailing our past relationships, our favorite moments in life, our relationship pet peeves, and what we found attractive in a partner.  We were truly getting to know each other on a deeper level, and I think is one reason why we became a “success” story. We were honest from the beginning. Nothing was off limits to ask about or discuss, because why not? I like to say that we became friends first, because that is really what happened for us. During our email communication, I got a sense of who he was as a person. I could start to talk to him like he was actually part of my life, instead of just being someone that I was communicating with through eHarmony. I found myself wanting to talk to him each day about what happened during work, and that is when I knew this was a stronger connection than the others. 

Our first date was bowling.  I am starting to blush as I am writing this! I was so nervous. Too nervous. I was also at the point where I was going to take a break from eHarmony if Jim and I didn’t work out. I had talked to quite a few people, and I was starting to feel discouraged.  I was so nervous that Jim wouldn’t like me, and would “break up” with me! I told my mom that I was going to take a break after this date, and she told me to just wait and see.  A mother’s intuition perhaps? Anyway, I spent way too long on my hair, way too long on my make-up, and many hours changing outfits. Once I was ready, my mom wished me luck, and I started to get really nervous. So much was riding on the success of this date!

The amazing guy that he is, Jim met me at a bowling alley close to my house. At the time, we lived about an hour and a half away from each other. This wasn’t uncommon for people on eHarmony; you can select the distance you are willing to travel to meet people. One aspect that does stick out in my mind, is that one of the guys I was first talking to (way in the beginning) also lived about an hour and a half away, and told me that he wasn’t sure he be in a long distance relationship.  Girls—if a guy is not willing to travel for you (at least in the beginning), he probably isn’t interested in dating you. He is looking for something either more convenient or something less serious. The fact that Jim was willing to drive two hours (yes—the bowling place he chose actually was about 30 minutes from my house and therefore an additional distance for him to travel), said a lot about his character, and showed me that he was willing to travel for me. When I arrived at the bowling place, I saw an extremely handsome guy sitting down. I went red. He was so attractive, so good looking in fact that I almost walked out. We introduced ourselves. I could not even tell you what we talked about the first 10 minutes of the date; I was just staring at him! Let me tell you—Jim knows how to plan a perfect date. Bowling was the best choice! Not only was it fun, but it took away many of my nerves. It was a great setting to just talk with each other.  And while I was focused on doing well, it was the conversation that I truly enjoyed. Side note—I lost all of the bowling games. Jim was and still is a champ. We talked about everything and anything. One thing that I noticed right away was Jim’s sarcastic sense of humor. He said/says things so seriously that you never think he is being sarcastic! But then he smiles, and his dimples show up (yes I’m gushing) and you know he is teasing you. Man that smile took my breath away during our first date-it still does J. I do remember asking him at some point, if he ever was serious (the answer is rarely!), and he said that he was, with some hesitation. Well, I can tell you that while he can be serious; his sense of humor and sarcasm is truly a Godsend. I am a very serious person, too serious some would say, and Jim is my perfect balance. He calms me down when I need it, he reassures me when I am stressing, and he can make me laugh to release any tension that I have.   So while on that first date I was a little nervous that he could never be serious, I should have known that he was the person I needed in life.

Bowling was perfection! Was it the end of our first date? Or did I break my two hour date limit? You will just have to wait until tomorrow……………