What's Wrong with Having Regrets?

I don't know if it is the copious amount of snowy winter days, but I have had a lot of time on my hands to think. Think about what you ask? Everything! One of the more recent things that I have thought about is: regret.  Do I have any regrets? I would be lying if I said no. Many people, when asked directly, state that they don't have regrets. I wonder how many of them are actually telling the truth. I saw a promo a few months ago for a show called "Hindsight" where the main character goes back in time to the night before her first wedding to change the past. While I haven't actually seen this show, or even know if it’s still on, it got me thinking. If you had the chance to go back to a particular time, would you? Do you regret anything in your life that might tempt you to go back in time? I’ve seen "The Butterfly Effect" (a dramatized version of revising history) and a more recent film "About Time" which also focuses on this concept of going back in time to change something in your past. Have you ever made a decision, and then wonder if you will regret it in the future? Do you ever wonder if it is the best decision you could have made? For myself, I always wonder, would I go back? Do I regret something so much in my life that I wish it had happened differently? To be honest....yes. There are things that I would change about my past. Are they big things like my relationships or journey to love? Absolutely not. Those things I would not change for a minute. They are missed opportunities.

Image Courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So what would I change? What I do regret? Not having enough fun in high school and college-- I don't mean I wish I had gone crazy, or wish I had gone to crazy parties. What I do mean is I wish I had enjoyed high school and college more. I LOVED my high school-- I still do. It is where I grew up; it is where I began my passion for learning; it is where I played sports. But, I wish I had been more out-going, I wish I had taken more opportunities to participate in clubs and activities (not just athletes), I wish I had gone out with my friends more, I wish I had put myself out there more. I was a book worm. School was my number one priority (aside from my family), and I couldn't be bothered to do anything else but homework-- even on the weekends. Sure I had friends, friends that I am still close to today, but for some reason, I preferred studying over hanging out with friends. I wish I had said yes to them more!!!! As for college, again school was my priority. I studied, worked, and exercised. I am lucky that one of my best friends was not only in the same major as me, but was my work out buddy as well. Otherwise, I would have never seen her!!! I did hang out with friends on occasion, but I wish I had experienced more in college. I was so hyper-focused on my major and my future career, that I sacrificed time with friends and I sacrificed just enjoying being in college.

So what does all of this mean for me, especially for the fact that I can't go back? Well, instead of dwelling on the past, I am going to focus on the present and future. I am going to take all of the things I wish I could have changed about my past, and frame my present. I am going to act on my regrets, so that I can improve my future :)

Improvements/Actions: 

~ Say yes more! Whether it is volunteering, hanging out with friends, participating in a school activity, I want to be open to new experiences.

~ Initiate time with friends! I have amazing friends, and I want to take advantage of spending as much time with them as I can. I truly value their friendship, and I don't think I have been a very good friend.

~ Live in the present! I honestly spend so much time either dwelling on my past, or stressing about my future that I forget to just enjoy what's happening right now.

~ Let certain things go! I am the typical first-born, Type A person, and I have a hard time letting things go- whether they are big or small. I have to remind myself, is this something that is going to matter a week from now? Month? Year? If the answer is no, then I shouldn't be using too much of my energy on it.

Do you have regrets? What would you change if you could? What improvements would you make based on those regrets? I would love to hear from you!

Happy Wednesday! :)

Where am I going?

Where am I going?

This is a question that I have been thinking about lately. It is probably due to all of the time off I've had. Am I on the path I am supposed to be on? Am I preparing myself well for motherhood in the future? Am I at a good point in my career? Am I living my life the way I want to? The way God wants me to? Am I a good wife? Have I been a good daughter/sister/granddaughter/cousin? Or, have I strayed off the path?

I go through these periods where I feel unsure about the road I am traveling on. I am the type of person who has to know "the ending." When reading a book, the first thing I do is read the last few pages. It doesn't ruin the book for me-- I actually feel as though I enjoy it more because I know how it ends. Any surprise that I may encounter while reading the book does not feel monumental because I am prepared for it. It is an interesting way to read, and sometimes I wish I could do this with life. I would love to know what happens thirty years from now-- Where will I be? Will I have children, with the possibility of grandchildren? Will I still be living in New England? Will I still be teaching? I have this desire of "knowing." I understand that life doesn't happen this way-- but just once, I would love to look into a crystal ball.

A consistent fear that I have is that I will become a burnt-out teacher. Teaching is so much more than a job to me; I try my absolute best everyday. Some days my lessons fail miserably. Some days I have no motivation. Some days I wish I wasn't a teacher. Some days I wonder what my life would be like if I had a different job. Everyone tells me that teaching is the perfect career for a parent to have. I am not so sure! I think to myself-- when will I have the time to lesson plan AND enjoy my children? As it is, I spend most nights completing school work. I know that having children will be an adjustment, not just in terms of my job but in life in general. If I am being honest, I am afraid. I am afraid that I won't be able to do it all.

While I was having these thoughts, I stumbled upon the following quotes on Pinterest:

                                                       

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A  hint perhaps? :)  I am a teacher in this moment of my life. It is my job to inspire others to do their best. It is my job to start each day fresh and new. Everyday is a gift, and I really shouldn't be worrying about the future. Whether I continue teaching or not, I have to remember that at the end of the day, life is a journey. It is not necessarily about the beginning or the end, but the moments that happen in between. It is not about sticking to one job or career just because you feel as though you have to. It is about being happy in "your moments." For now, I am happy with my "teaching moments." And, if I truly get to the point of not wanting to teach anymore, it is my decision. A decision driven by what I want and my desire to have different moments. Not necessarily because I feel there is a different "ending" for me.



Thanks for letting me share my thoughts :) 

Back to Normalcy and Unexpected Fun

I don't know about any of you, but there is some sense of getting back into a routine  after the holidays. While I begrudgingly did not want to head back to school yesterday, I craved normalcy, a routine, and getting back to the day to day chores. Let me be perfectly clear-- I absolutely loved the time off from school, but on the other hand, I had a difficult time keeping active during vacation. It wasn't just that it was gray outside, or starting to get cold, or that my husband was also home with me, I just had no desire to keep busy! After rushing around pretty much all fall in preparation for my wedding, then having Thanksgiving, only to have my wedding two weeks later, and then Christmas two weeks after that, I think I was just beyond exhausted! (Although my family will claim that I am always tired haha). I truly think my body needed time to just, well, be at home doing absolutely nothing! And school vacation offered me that time, and I most certainly took advantage of that. However, here we are, start of a new year, a new week, and I am ready for it! (sort of-- remind me of this post in February when I am counting down the days until February break).



While on vacation, my husband and I did visit a very cool brewery in Westminster, MA called Wachusett Brewery. I always have so much fun heading to brewery tours or wine tours/tastings, and I have nothing but good things to say about this local brewery! It was an inexpensive way to spend our last weekend of vacation, and I am always interested in how different breweries brew their beer and what their overall process is.  Wachusett Brewery keeps their beer local, and I love supporting local businesses. What are your favorite brewery and/or winery tours in the New England area? What is your favorite "inexpensive" fun activity to do? Let me know your thoughts!

First Post!

First off, if you are visiting my blog, I want to thank you! It has been a dream of mine to write a blog for about a year and a half, and although I don't have everything figured out yet, I am so excited for the journey. I think it took such a long time for me to create a blog because I didn't know what I wanted the focus to be. I also think that it has taken me so long because I wanted it to be perfect, and for the finished product to be complete. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a perfectionist at heart, and I spend way too much time on any project I have. I also have a problem where once I start something, I want it finished instantaneously (cue house decorating post to come haha).  But, here I am, writing a blog that will certainly not be perfect, and I hope will not be "complete" anytime soon. As part of my New Years resolution, I have vowed to be okay with that.

You may be wondering what the focus of the blog will be about, and to be honest, I don't know exactly. Admittedly I have never really kept a journal; I have started probably four or five journals, and each probably only have a few days written down. The only things I truly document are my lesson plans for school! What I am going to attempt to do with this blog is share my life as a newlywed, recent homeowner, high schoolteacher, my fails and triumphs in the kitchen (I am a terrible cook, but a decent baker), my attempts at decorating and styling my house, and my acceptance of being imperfect, all while "thinking out loud." And so it begins......