Meeting My Husband

When my husband and I have kids, I plan on telling them how their father and I met. I may not include all of the aspects, but I do want them to know  it was a journey. There were big bumps, and smaller bumps along the way. I endured heartache and heartbreak before I met their father, but that I wouldn’t have wanted it to happen any other way.  It led us to each other.

When my husband and I first starting communicating on eHarmony, I knew it was going to be different. I had different feelings communicating with him than the others. I was nervous, giddy, and excited to get his responses. We first starting talking while my family was on vacation, and I was attached to my phone. We were communicating through eHarmony mail, and I found myself more and more interested in learning about Jim. I wanted to know more than just the basic information. I wanted to know what his dreams were, what his goals in life were, what he had planned for in the future.  I was hoping with every response, that I could see myself fit into his life and his plans. His responses were genuine, personal, and sometimes very humorous (a characteristic that is very important to me!).  After my vacation, we moved on from communicating just through eHarmony, and starting communicating through our personal emails. We would send pages to each other, detailing our past relationships, our favorite moments in life, our relationship pet peeves, and what we found attractive in a partner.  We were truly getting to know each other on a deeper level, and I think is one reason why we became a “success” story. We were honest from the beginning. Nothing was off limits to ask about or discuss, because why not? I like to say that we became friends first, because that is really what happened for us. During our email communication, I got a sense of who he was as a person. I could start to talk to him like he was actually part of my life, instead of just being someone that I was communicating with through eHarmony. I found myself wanting to talk to him each day about what happened during work, and that is when I knew this was a stronger connection than the others. 

Our first date was bowling.  I am starting to blush as I am writing this! I was so nervous. Too nervous. I was also at the point where I was going to take a break from eHarmony if Jim and I didn’t work out. I had talked to quite a few people, and I was starting to feel discouraged.  I was so nervous that Jim wouldn’t like me, and would “break up” with me! I told my mom that I was going to take a break after this date, and she told me to just wait and see.  A mother’s intuition perhaps? Anyway, I spent way too long on my hair, way too long on my make-up, and many hours changing outfits. Once I was ready, my mom wished me luck, and I started to get really nervous. So much was riding on the success of this date!

The amazing guy that he is, Jim met me at a bowling alley close to my house. At the time, we lived about an hour and a half away from each other. This wasn’t uncommon for people on eHarmony; you can select the distance you are willing to travel to meet people. One aspect that does stick out in my mind, is that one of the guys I was first talking to (way in the beginning) also lived about an hour and a half away, and told me that he wasn’t sure he be in a long distance relationship.  Girls—if a guy is not willing to travel for you (at least in the beginning), he probably isn’t interested in dating you. He is looking for something either more convenient or something less serious. The fact that Jim was willing to drive two hours (yes—the bowling place he chose actually was about 30 minutes from my house and therefore an additional distance for him to travel), said a lot about his character, and showed me that he was willing to travel for me. When I arrived at the bowling place, I saw an extremely handsome guy sitting down. I went red. He was so attractive, so good looking in fact that I almost walked out. We introduced ourselves. I could not even tell you what we talked about the first 10 minutes of the date; I was just staring at him! Let me tell you—Jim knows how to plan a perfect date. Bowling was the best choice! Not only was it fun, but it took away many of my nerves. It was a great setting to just talk with each other.  And while I was focused on doing well, it was the conversation that I truly enjoyed. Side note—I lost all of the bowling games. Jim was and still is a champ. We talked about everything and anything. One thing that I noticed right away was Jim’s sarcastic sense of humor. He said/says things so seriously that you never think he is being sarcastic! But then he smiles, and his dimples show up (yes I’m gushing) and you know he is teasing you. Man that smile took my breath away during our first date-it still does J. I do remember asking him at some point, if he ever was serious (the answer is rarely!), and he said that he was, with some hesitation. Well, I can tell you that while he can be serious; his sense of humor and sarcasm is truly a Godsend. I am a very serious person, too serious some would say, and Jim is my perfect balance. He calms me down when I need it, he reassures me when I am stressing, and he can make me laugh to release any tension that I have.   So while on that first date I was a little nervous that he could never be serious, I should have known that he was the person I needed in life.

Bowling was perfection! Was it the end of our first date? Or did I break my two hour date limit? You will just have to wait until tomorrow……………