This month is what I like to call the "Getting to Know You" time period. When Jim and I brought Addison home from the hospital, we weren't quite sure what to do. Addison was sleeping--- and we were too excited to sleep. We both just stared at her for a long time and waited for some type of movement. That first night, my parents brought over dinner which I realize now was a God-send. New mommies out there-- accept help. Honestly. It doesn't mean you aren't capable of taking care of your house, your baby, or yourself. Soon enough it will just be the two of you, so enjoy the company and help.
We came home the day before Thanksgiving, and I was determined to at least make it to my grandmothers that Thursday to eat some turkey :). Dedication, am I right? My husband was so great about the whole Thanksgiving trip-- he told me he didn't care if we went or not (although I told him I was determined to go for at least a little bit) He checked on me constantly while we were at my grandparents house, and when I needed to leave early (just felt uncomfortable and wanted to lay in bed haha)--he didn't hesitate. From day one he has been such a hands-on father, and I couldn't ask for a better partner.
The first two weeks it seemed like Addison slept WAY too much. My husband and I were a little worried-- but we learned quickly that's what newborns do. They sleep, eat, poop, and repeat. My husband was home with me the first week, and then my mom was with me during week two and part of week three. It was so special to watch and experience each of them bonding with Addison. I won't lie- it was also nice to have someone else around with me so that I could freely clean, do laundry, organize, rest, and make dinner.
In terms of health, Addison is overall very healthy. She has gained weight steadily-- she even surpassed her discharge weight before the two week mark! However, at her first appointment, her pediatrician was concerned about her left eye. It didn't show a red reflex as normal, healthy, functioning eyes typically do. The right eye seemed fine-- showed the red reflex and didn't raise any concerns. When the pediatrician mentioned that she wanted us to bring Addison to the eye doctor to get the left eye checked out, panic ensued. We asked when we needed to bring her in, and the pediatrician told us we needed to bring her immediately. I tried to keep calm, but inside I knew something was wrong. I didn't even know what the red reflex was, never mind what it meant to have the absence of one. Instantly, I began researching what it meant. The lack of a red reflex is indicative of a few potential issues, cataracts being one of them. I researched and researched, looked at Addison's eye, and knew that she had a congenital cataract. Her left eye (in the pupil portion) had a cloudiness that is the characteristic sign of a cataract. Science is my life, and for the next week or so I became obsessive with the researching. I researched causes and treatments. The odd portion is that nothing fit-- I didn't have any of the issues/illnesses/history that they had listed as causes. That almost made me feel worse-- why was this happening to our seemingly healthy little girl? Did I do anything wrong? These thoughts were constant visitors in my head. No matter what anyone said-- I kept thinking it was my fault.
Addison, my mom and I went to the local eye doctor, who looked at Addison's eye after they had been dilated. His quick diagnosis was congenital cataracts, but wanted to rule out other potential issues (cancer and retina problems). Addison had an ultrasound on her eye, and the doctor was somewhat pleased. He told us that it didn't appear as though her eye had a tumor or a detached retina or any other retina problems, and said that was a very good thing. He did say that she had a congenital cataract, and suggested that we see a doctor affiliated with his office down in Boston, MA. My heart sank. I still had a glimmer of hope that she was okay. In the office I think I was so numb that I didn't really have a chance to react in any particular way. It wasn't until I got home that I cried. And boy did I cry. I was trying so hard to be strong-- but no one wants their baby to have to deal with any issues such as this. Through my research I learned that while treatable, congenital cataracts are a lifetime issue. We learned more specific information when we headed to Tufts in Boston, MA to the pediatric specialist we were referred to.
The week after her local visit, my husband and I drove to Tufts in Boston, MA for Addison's next eye appointment. It didn't start off that great-- it took us 3 hours to get there (should have taken only about an hour and half). She had (thankfully) slept most of the ride down-- with only a few fussy moments. Oh and to top it off- this new mommy forgot the pacifier. Awesome. Even though Addison doesn't take a pacifier too much, it does help to soothe her during times when she is gassy or hungry. Once we arrived at the doctors office, we had to wait (yes-- even though we were late we still waited about forty-five minutes). I was getting worried because Addison was only about two weeks old and we still hadn't gotten a feeding routine down. There we were now four hours after her last feeding, and she still was asleep and I didn't know when we would be seen. I was tempted to wake her up, but I just didn't know what to do! I constantly asked the secretary how long it would be until we would be seen and she kept saying the doctor was almost ready. Ugh. I could have fed her in that time.
When we finally were able to see the doctor, I cringed when the doctor started to look at Addison's eyes. I could just imagine her waking up and screaming at the top of her lungs because she was hungry! Thankfully that didn't happen. Dr. Chen (amazing, amazing doctor) took a look at Addison's eye and confirmed the previous diagnosis: congenital cataracts. She asked me a series of questions regarding my health and my health during the pregnancy, and again I felt as though it was my fault that Addison had the cataract. She ruled out many causes, including genetic, and seemed fairly confident that it was not caused by a metabolic syndrome. Therefore-- we don't know why she has this cataract.
After the background information, Dr. Chen dilated Addison's eye in preparation for an ultrasound on her eye to confirm the diagnosis, to see if the cataract was in the middle of her eye, and to make sure there were no other underlying problems. And wouldn't you know-- the ultrasound was in a completely separate office (still at Tufts). But before we left, I needed to change Addison. So I grabbed the diaper bag and proceeded to change her in the bathroom. I will preface the next part by saying-- I was still a newbie. I started to change Addison and I quickly realized that she was pooping-- a lot mind you. All over. Soiling her outfit and the changing pad I had. I went through four diapers (don't ask haha) and countless wipes. When we got out of the bathroom, my husband just looked at me. I had been in there for oh about fifteen minutes. I think my exact words were: "I used four diapers.Don't ask" oh and probably "You don't want to know how many wipes I used."
After that debacle, my husband and I lugged all of our stuff across the hospital to the other office. Oh and did I mention Addison was now FULLY awake? And screaming. In her short two weeks with us she had never screamed the way she did while we were running to the other office. Oh and where was the pacifier to comfort said baby? Yes-- at home haha-- this is when we really could have used it! So I gave her my pinky (yes it truly is the next best thing). We then proceeded to wait. And wait. And wait. I fed our little girl, who had now gone five hours without eating. She had been SO GOOD, and I just wanted to comfort my baby girl. While we were waiting, a sweet woman came by to remark at how beautiful my family was and how beautiful it was to see my husband holding my daughter. She was moved so much that she actually wanted to paint a picture of my husband holding my daughter. She took a picture of my husband holding Addison and promised to email me when she was finished with it. While I was touched, I also was little offended. I mean I know that my hair was a mess, and that I wasn't looking my best, but why didn't she like me holding my daughter? Haha-- I will never forget that encounter.
Anyway, we finally were called to the ultra sound room. Once that was finished, we headed back to Dr. Chen's office. When we arrived, she confirmed the cataract was in the center of her eye, and thus our only real option is surgery to remove the cataract. Dr. Chen did say that they won't know if there are any other problems with her eye (her nerve) until the day of the surgery, but she is hopeful it is just the cataract. Addison's surgery to remove her cataract is February 5th (a date that I am dreading), and at that point she will receive a contact and we will have to patch her eye. Once it is healed, we will be patching her good eye (quite a bit actually) to train the left eye. Addison will be seen by Dr. Chen frequently after surgery, and pretty much her entire childhood. When Addison is between 5-7 years old, she will have surgery to implant an artificial contact lens, which I am looking forward to. I am dreading placing the contact in my baby's eye :(. Even after receiving the artificial lens, Addison will have to wear glasses, but Dr. Chen is confident she will be able to see.
I will certainly keep everyone posted about this journey of ours. While it is something we never expected to endure, we know she will be okay and more importantly will be able to see successfully because of the surgery.
On a positive note, this past month I have had the chance to get to know our little one so much better. She is now 8 lbs and officially out of her newborn diapers :( We are trying to have her wear all of her newborn clothes because we know she will be out of those soon as well!
Some things I have learned about Addison this month:
- She would rather fall asleep in our arms than in her pack and play
- She loves white noise- especially things like a vacuum sound or oscillating fan
- She doesn't like to be in a dirty diaper- so much so that she doesn't poop until we are in the process of changing her (or when I'm feeding her haha)
- She likes to sleep with her arms up above her head
- She loves motion-- the car, swing, Rock-in-Play, walking, rocking, etc
- She only cries when she has gas (Or when she is extremely hungry)-- but she rarely cries
- She DOES NOT like tummy time
- She grunts and snorts when she is hungry
- She pretends to sleep when anyone is holding her in a room with bright lights
- She really only takes a pacifier when she has gas
- She loves when you sing to her
- She is starting to coo and smile at us :)
- She is also staring to pull my hair...haha...good thing she is cute!
- She is the best thing that has ever happened to me
What a cutie.. congrats and happy new year!
ReplyDeleteChristina :: Simple and Delish
Thank you so much! Happy New Year to you as well!
Delete