I thought long and hard about whether I would blog/write Addison's birth story. It is something so personal, so meaningful that I wasn't sure I wanted to share that. However, because this blog is a place to to record my memories, I decided that I wanted to write one of the most memorable days of my life here. Just like my journey to find love, I can't wait to come back to this post and re-read the details and remember the day.
So....here it goes!
My actual due date was December 5th, however, both my husband and I thought I would have the baby before that date. We just didn't know how early it would be :) My goal was to get through the Monday and Tuesday of Thanksgiving week. My honors students had presentations to give, and my Marine Biology students were finishing up an essay and preparing for a quiz. I felt as though I needed to be there! Also-- my long term sub was going to shadow me those two days, as well as, the week of November 30th just to get used to everything. I just wanted to make it through those days, and then the baby was free to come at any time ;)
However, at the end of school Friday November 20th, I was packing up my items and I had a weird sensation that I should get some sub plans together for the following week. I don't know if subconsciously I knew that something was going to happen, or if my Type A personality was in over-drive, but I prepared for the possibility of not returning to school that next week.
On Sunday, I felt great-- aside from my itchy, swelling feet. I went to church that morning and a woman who typically sits behind my family tapped my grandmother on the shoulder and told her that I was "close" haha. I just laughed it off-- I didn't feel any different.
Sunday afternoon, we (my mom, sisters, cousins, aunt, and grandmother) surprised my cousin Kelly at the hospital with a "girls" day celebrating her transfer from Dartmouth Hospital in Lebanon, NH to a local hospital near my family. She was 30 weeks pregnant with her second child, but had some complications with the pregnancy that forced her to stay in the hospital. Her journey started at 23 weeks-- the goal was to make it to 34 weeks! When they originally found the problem, she was 20 weeks and she got mixed messages from the doctors. Some were very positive about the whole situation, and others were less optimistic. However, Kelly and her husband Scott have kept their spirits up with the support of family and friends. (as an update-- Kelly delivered Noah via C-Section on December 5th- my due date haha- and he is doing well in the NICU).
When we all arrived at hospital, I joked that I was getting my own private tour of the Birth Place (as my cousin was in the same department and hospital I would be using to deliver my baby). My mom joked with the nurses at the front desk that they would see me soon haha. I just didn't know how soon.
Sunday night I felt fine, and I was ready for the two days of school before Thanksgiving break. I went to bed at a normal time, and honestly didn't feel any different.
I woke up around 2:45 AM with some discomfort that I can only describe as really uncomfortable menstrual cramps. I also had this need to go to the bathroom constantly. I don't know why but I was convinced that I wasn't having contractions. Although I did download an app to track whatever it was I was going through-- they weren't consistent at all. I ended up calling my doctor at 4:30 in the morning and the doctor on call told me to wait until the contractions were 5 minutes apart, with a duration of 1 minute. I was still convinced that I was having Braxton-Hicks (although I had BH around 30 weeks of my pregnancy and it didn't feel like that). Maybe I was convincing myself that I wasn't in labor haha.
Anyway haha...I asked the doctor if I could go into work and she told me that I should probably stay home just in case. I wanted to go into school-- so much so that I even called my mom to see what she thought. She told me to stay home, and told me that Jim should stay home with me too. Reluctantly, I called in sick to work-- still convinced that it was false alarm. I took a shower to see if that would help make me feel better, and while it definitely did, the "contractions" were still coming.
I emailed sub plans, and started to stress about my long term sub. I was worried that he wouldn't understand my plans, that my students would be confused/lost, and that I was letting people down. My husband and I had just picked up wreaths, kissing balls, and greenery on Saturday for a fundraiser I was doing at school, and I was supposed to bring them in and distribute them that day. I was stressing out about it, and texted my co-advisor telling her my husband and I would bring the wreaths that afternoon (What was I thinking.....). She was a little surprised and asked me if I was really okay to bring them-- I should have said no-- but I felt bad!
Cut to the afternoon where my contractions were about 7-8 minutes apart, but lasted about 2-3 minutes (A hint to all you pregnant ladies out there-- don't stick by the 5 minute, 1 minute duration if your contractions are lasting that long!). I finally realized that yes-- I was indeed in labor haha. The odd part (or so I thought) was that I did not feel contractions in my abdominal area, but in my back. By the afternoon some of them were so bad that the only way I felt better was if I hugged the toilet on my hands and knees. I texted my co-advisor and told her that there was no way I could deliver the wreaths, and I apologized profusely. I am so lucky to have her not only as a co-advisor but a friend. She said she would take care of it-- and ended up picking the wreaths up from my house with another co-worker of mine. I've got to say--I have such amazing friends.
My husband asked if I thought we should call the hospital oh about five or so times, but I kept telling him-- I wasn't at the 5 minutes, 1 minute mark yet (gosh I am so literal!). My mother finally called me, and I couldn't talk to her (was going through a contraction at the time) at which point my husband talked to her. Once he got off the phone, he said we needed to call the doctor. Around the same time, my co-advisor called me to verify my address-- (I don't know why I answered the phone since I was going through a contraction at the time)- and I ended up hanging up on her because I couldn't talk. I felt awful about it!
When my husband called the doctor-- they told us to come in immediately (it was about 2:30/3ish at this point). Thankfully I had already packed my overnight bag- so all my husband had to do was grab it before we left for the hospital. When I started to head to the car, panic started to ensue. I realized that I would have to endure contractions for the 30 minute car ride to the hospital. (I should have thought about that all afternoon haha). The ride to the hospital was a blur-- during the ride I got a text from my memere encouraging me and telling me that I only had one more day of school before Thanksgiving Break. She didn't even know I was in labor yet! I was so focused during my contractions that I couldn't text anyone letting them know I was in labor (I mean I had been in labor for about 12 hours but I didn't know that at the time haha).
Once we got to the hospital and checked in (about 3/3:30), I was visited by two nurses. They put a fetal monitor around my stomach, and started measuring my contractions. One of the nurses was surprised at the length of my contractions- I'm not sure if they thought I was exaggerating when I had told them during check-in how long they were haha. That nurse said that she would get the doctor right away, and once the doctor came back and checked my cervix I was already 9 cm dilated. Everyone-including my husband-- was shocked. I couldn't believe that I was that far along! The doctor said she would be back in a few minutes, and when she returned, I was wheeled into my delivery room.
Now I have to be honest-- the contractions hurt. I guess I didn't expect to feel them as strongly as I did-- nor did I expect to feel them in my back as much as I did. I didn't really prepare myself for back labor. They were almost unbearable-- the back pain was so intense that the nurse instructed Jim to push hard against my back to counter the contraction. I also had a hard time relaxing (no surprise to anyone who knows me haha). I was tense, I wanted to grab/squeeze everything in sight. Unfortunately, being tense is not helpful nor does it actually lessen the pain. Of course I remembered that aspect from the class we had taken, but in the moment, I just wanted to relieve my pain. In my head, squeezing something would help. For some reason, the contractions were more bearable when I was laying on my right side. Unfortunately, because I was still tense and holding my breath, I was given an oxygen mask to make sure that I and the baby got enough oxygen flowing. At some point, one of the doctors asked if I was interested in an epidural. I looked at my husband and said "What do you think? Do we want one?"-- and my husband just looked at me and said he didn't know. I wasn't sure! I had so much time to think about whether or not I would want an epidural-- but I couldn't decide. Thankfully I wouldn't have to-- the other doctor stepped in and said I didn't really have time of an epidural. By the time the anesthesiologist would have been able to come (about 30 minutes), the baby would already be born. So...no epidural for me haha.
The second doctor asked if I was ready to push- and I definitely was. While pushing did not hurt-- it was exhausting! I felt as though I never really got a break-- I would push hard and immediately after the doctor was prepping me to push again. At one point I think I said that I couldn't do it-- I was just exhausted. I probably pushed about 5-6 time. In the last few pushes, the only thing that kept me going was that the doctor told me she could see the baby's head. I knew the end was in sight. I wanted to meet my baby so badly-- I pushed one last time and out came a beautiful, perfect baby girl. Emotions were extreme, and all I remember is crying, kissing my husband, and feeling my precious girl on my chest. Indescribable. You really don't know how you will feel until you are in that moment.
Addison Lynne was born at 4:54 on November 23rd. She weighed 6 lbs 6.5 oz, and was 19.5 inches. I never knew my heart could feel so much love ❤️
And that is the birth story of Addison Lynne. The nurses joked with me and told me that for my next child-- I shouldn't wait as long to head to the hospital haha. I will definitely consider that the next time ;)
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